My Husband and I knew when we got married that we wanted to start our family right away (we had been dating for 5 years before we got married). Well, it never happened that way. We tried to conceive for 1 1/2 years. I was starting to sense a big problem.

I went to the OB/GYN, Dec. 1997. He first ordered a semen analysis on my husband, which turned out normal. Next, there was me. I went for a HSG, Jan. 1998. It was a horrible experience. Our Grandpa was in the same hospital where my procedure was taking place (he died 3 days later). Not only did the HSG cause a great amount of physical pain for me, but the Doctor performing it told me, while lying there, that both of my tubes were blocked and dilated severely. He even muttered, "there's always IVF". At that time I didn't even really know what IVF was all about. I thought it was a rare procedure, costing thousands of dollars. All I could think of was, "test tube baby".

After finding out my devastating diagnosis of messed up tubes (I knew you needed them to get pregnant), I went to an RE for treatment. He suggested that I try tubal repair. I went to another RE in NYC (who was highly recommended), for a second opinion. He said they were beyond repair. My Husband and I decided that we wanted to at least try the repair. I went for the surgery Mar. 1998. The RE who performed it gave me so much hope. He said they weren't bad at all, and gave me a 50% chance of success (it was 20% going in). So I healed for a month, and we were back to trying. End of April, a period. May, another period. I went to have a follow-up HSG, June, 1998. Guess what? They blocked right back up. The expensive surgery (RE was out of network with insurance, had to pay 30% of everything), was a failure!

At the end of June we went to the IVF center. I had the 2nd surgery in Aug. 1998, to remove my tubes. "Fixed" at the age of 26. It was the hardest thing, emotionally, I ever had to face. I felt, everything that made me a woman, was being cut right out of me. I felt hopeless. I cried for weeks before the surgery (just like I did when I found out about my tubes). My Husband felt helpless. He tried his best to give me support and to lift my spirits. He always said that this was "both" our problem, (even though it was me with the physical problem).

We started IVF in Sep. 1998. I had a cyst on one of my ovaries, so everything was delayed a week, in the middle of treatment. That pushed everything back a week. Luckily the cyst cleared on it's own. My retrieval was done a week late (although, the RE said it wouldn't effect anything). I had 4 embryos transferred back. They were all poor quality. I really think they were "old" from that delay. We got the call on Oct. 30, 1998. The RE said the pregnancy test was "positive", BUT, it was a very low number. I was tested again 3 days later (which felt like 3 years later). We got the dreaded call. This time the HCG was negative. I had what they call a "chemical pregnancy". An embryo attached, but was not suitable, and did not continue to grow.

I always prayed for the strength to accept whatever the outcome was, before our results. My prayers were answered. I found the strength, right away, to push on. I concentrated on our second attempt, and tried not to let the first one get me down. This time I felt confident. I didn't talk about this cycle with too many people this time. We decided to keep it "low key". This really did make us feel more relaxed about it. We didn't have all the questions and didn't need to explain everything step by step. This time I was on Lupron and GONAL F (the last time I had been on Lupron, Pergonal and Fertinex). I had the retrieval on Dec. 18, 1998. This time they transferred 3-8 cell embryos (at my clinic the "best") and 1-6 cell embryo, on Dec. 21, 1998. There were no delays this cycle and everything went so smoothly. I responded very well to the GONAL F.

We were going to find out Jan. 2, 1999, in hope that the New Year would bring us luck. The nurse at the IVF clinic, decided to run a pregnancy test on Dec. 30th, along with my hormonal level tests (I was unaware that they were running a pregnancy test). The RE called that afternoon. He gave my husband the news. My husband drove a 30-minute car ride, in 15 minutes to come and tell me. I was at my parents. He told me I was PREGNANT!!! I didn't believe him right away. I was in complete shock. The tears in his eyes told me he wasn't kidding!

So, that is where we are now. I am 10 weeks, 2 days pregnant, with one baby. I started out with 2 sacs (twins), but I lost one in my 6th week. RE said that this was common. We were well prepared for that. We weren't upset. We still had one healthy heart beating. One miracle. One dream come true. We are still in disbelief. I think back about how we felt in August, so hopeless and emotionally devastated, and I thank God for the way I feel right now. I am so full of hope. I feel like the happiest person on earth.

The best is yet to come. Believe in miracles. Never lose hope. Stay confident and be persistent. I dedicate the song by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, "When You Believe", from the movie, "The Prince of Egypt," to all of you.