My story is not a success story, but one I feel should be told. I am 45 years old but my husband is much younger than me. Although I already have children it doesn't take away the desire for this gift we would love to share with each other. He has no children of his own and even though he is content with mine, I know that there is a special bond missing.

We first started trying to have a baby after I had my tubes reversed back in 1992. I was so confident that I would get pregnant easily as I had before. Two years later I realized that this would not be the case. A specialist started me on a drug called Clomid. Not realizing that age would play a big part I continued the Clomid for 12 months. We decided to move on to IVF. During the preliminary testing, we found out that not only did I have a problem but he did as well. On our first attempt we didn't even make it to the transfer stage, because none of my eggs fertilized. We were sad but hopeful, because for our next attempt we would be using ICSI. On our second attempt I had 11 eggs, but only 3 fertilized. Unfortunately I didn't get pregnant and we were heartbroken.

We decided to continue trying. A friend of mine who had gotten pregnant with twins through IVF continued to encourage me and give me hope. Sure enough, on my third attempt I felt I was pregnant and I nearly jumped through the phone box roof when I heard the positive result. I did everything that my doctor told me to do and got past the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Just as I was starting to plan things for the birth of our baby, the rug was pulled out from under us. I started to bleed and I panicked which I am sure didn't help. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me at16 weeks. WHY? Tests were done and no reason was found for the miscarriage. The doctor said to try again, as it had been a healthy fetus. I will never forget the pain I felt that night. The hopes and dreams we had, just seemed to vanish amongst the hustle of the hospital. The toll it takes on a marriage is something that no one should have to endure.

We did try again but it didn't work. I think IVF success has a lot to do with a positive attitude and support, as that's what I had the time it worked. Now I only have one more chance to try, but until I have a positive attitude I'll wait and hope that age doesn't take my chance away. I can only look at the success rate and hope that 20% is better than some people who have no chance at all. Keep positive.