venus:
In November '99 , I had my first IVF cycle done. Everything went well: the collection of the eggs was very painless. I came home slept for couple of hours and then went to work. The next morning We got the call from the hospital saying that all of my eggs were fertelized, so we were very happy. The following morning they transfered two of the embryos. When my husband and I saw them on the screen we were so happy. That happiness did not last not even for two weeks I started to bleed 7 days after the succesfull transfer. I was very upset. I had to lay down on my back untill the day of the blood test, which came out negative. We are not giving up we will continue with Gods help. I have a very supportive husband, I know one day he will be the best father in the world because he proved that he is the best husband in the world. I wish you all good luck and hang in there don't give up. Enjoy your Holidays, put your Christmas tree up, it will lift your spirits up.

Tasha:
I don't really feel the holidays have been any different for me since we found out about our IF problems. I've been away from my family for 10 years now. I've been with them for the holidays only twice since I left home. DH is a different story. The Christmas just before we found out that we would have to try IVF, DH's mom died unexpectedly. He's been a little sad the last couple of Decembers. We won't put up a tree this year, but that's only because there would only be 2 presents under it. (We picked out our own gifts this year so we wouldn't go crazy spending.) Next year will be different. We'll have a baby or two. (We've been saying that for 4 years now.)

Virginia:
I have always kept a happy spirit about Christmas. We've been IF for over 10 years but for me it's only a PART of our life together. We will have children at some point. Whether IVF or adoption. My family is normally very supportive. But I am the eldest of two children (the only one married) and I know my dad really wants to be a grandfather. He never makes either of us feel bad in any way for our IF circumstances. He believes God will bless us when the time is right.

Carla:
I try very hard to get into the holiday spirit and to celebrate the simple pleasures in life. I don't want our infertility to take over our lives. I need to feel like I'm in control of my life, even if I do feel helpless about IF at times. I surround myself with my DH, famly and friends, all who understand the sorrow surrounding our infertility. I find it's important to keep our commitments simple and to stay healthy (no overindulgence in holiday cheer) for our upcoming cycle. I think it's also very healthy to allow ourselves time-out to mourn those dreams we have not yet realized. I, too, have 2 very spoiled cats and we lavish them with love.

Sheila:
KEEP POSITIVE! Think of good things and never think of the negative. The holiday season should be a wonderful time for you and your husband. Decorate like crazy, have lots of uplifting things around you and remember that good things happen to good people...Although we are still waiting! Happy Holidays and good thoughts to everyone...we are starting a new ivf cycle in Jan.

Gloria:
DH and I live an airplane ride away from our families, and since my brother and sister on my side of the family just had babies, we have decided not to go to my family's house for the holidays and go to his house instead. It was a tough decision and made my Mom very sad, but I think they understand how hard it is for us, especially after battling infertility for two and a half years, and losing one baby at 6 months and another at 7 weeks. It was hard shopping for Christmas gifts for my new niece and nephew, but I pretended I was shopping for my own "make-believe" kids. We did not put up a tree last year, but we will this year since we want to try to at least enjoy the holidays somewhat. The biggest help to me was having my 2 cats who I adore and spoil shamelessly. I buy them lots of toys and treats for the holidays!

Anskar:
Hi Brenda, I'm doing all my shopping stress free via the Internet! When I'm with my family and friends, I'm grateful for all their love and support. I also make sure I surround myself with loving and supportive people! Pick a child to sponser this holiday! Cheers! Anskar

Brenda:
I have to admit that getting through the holidays is tough for me since we started walking the infertility treadmill. It was just before Christmas 98 when I had my first IVF failure. I was so depressed by the experience, I nearly didn't even put up the Christmas tree. A few days before Christmas I finally managed to muster up enough spirit to decorate the tree. I changed the look of the tree and created what I think was my best looking tree yet. It was especially hard to cope when well-meaning family members tried to get me to cheer up without realizing that I needed to mourn my loss. My husband was great though, he didn't put any pressure on me to feel a certain way. We ended up spending a quiet Christmas together playing scrabble and watching movies. It wasn't the best Christmas that I ever had, but at least I knew that I had the support of the most loving man in my life. This year we will be spending another quiet Christmas, but we will be interrupted by the barks and playful antics of our 6-month-old puppy. She has filled part of the void in our hearts and has made my life more bearable again.